`

David Dao: Greatest American Hero For Bedwetters

In the pantheon of civil disobedience, we have Tank Man in Tiananmen Square, Rosa Parks on a bus in Montgomery and Dr. David Dao on a United Airlines flight screeching like a teenage girl after security took him up on his taunting.

Inclusion of Dao’s name with the other two would be a joke if people weren’t actually doing it.

In his best Matlockian dialect, Dao’s oleaginous personal injury attorney Tom Demetrio canonized Dao as the patron saint of airline passengers declaring, “he’s the guy to stand up for passengers going forward.”

We’re finally free of commercial airline totalitarianism thanks to a half-lucid quack who, unlike the three other passengers who peacefully deplaned, didn’t think random selection applied to him.

Of course United could have handled the matter better and, yes, seat arrangements should’ve been figured at the gate.  But this necessitates congressional hearings?

The only thing more absurd than that is Dao contending his United experience was more harrowing than escaping Vietnam in 1975 before the fall of Saigon.

And the only thing more absurd than that is listening to Lionel Hutz Demetrio moralize about corporate America.

In a better America, this whole incident would be received by the public like a Jerky Boys prank call.

In bedwetting America, David Dao is a hero.

RELATED CONTENT